I woke up in a closet.

Yesterday I got drunk.

It’s half past one o’clock and I’m settling with coffee and digesting some cheese and hummus.

I went to the Habana Outpost with Scott, Jared and Gray last night. I ordered a veggie burger, Scott had a cubano, and Gray got the Cactus Salad. He was very upset that there wasn’t actually any cactus in the cactus salad. And we all got drinks. I kept making Scott go to the counter to get drinks for me because I was worried they would I.D. me. The six point that they had on tap was only $2.50, but we paid something like $8 for really tasty and sugary as hell margaritas and mojitos. They came in these sweet cups that were made of corn:

The mojito was essentially a spiked slushee. It even came out of one of those gas station type slushee churning machines. And it was especially strong. So here was my drink tally: one Six Point, one Margarita, one Mojito. With all this drinking I had to hit up the bathroom at some point. There was a line. The way the bathroom works is that when you use the water to wash your hands, it runs off into a plant bed. The run off water from the plant bed goes into the tank of the toilet. I let the water in the sink run for the whole time I was peeing, and some of the water started to overflow from the plant bed and get on the floor. I thought there wouldn’t be enough water to flush the toilet. It would be kin of cool if they had fish in the plant bed swimming around so you could see them freak out every time someone flushed the toilet.

Anyway, we made our way out of the restaurant and had more to drink at Taaffe. Scott and I had some Red Hook Extra Special Beer. Which is a totally tasty beer, and bitter, but it led me to get even more drunk so I could be especially social and evidently retarded. Because we got MORE BEER. I think i had a 40 of Miller High Life. I started talking with one of my roommates, Ashlyn, and I decided I loved her very much. When I came into the kitchen this morning I had left a note that said “ASHLYN I LOVE YOU! LOVE SHARON! P.S. I LOVE YOU AND JOHN!” God, I’m one of THOSE drunks. I listened to Ashlyn’s band Foxes and got really excited because I liked it a lot.

I said loads of “OH MAH GAWD I LOVE YAA VOICE IS SO PIRDDY.” Then I probably paraded around the apartment like an idiot.

Oh yeah, and unfortunately I don’t have a photo of me in it, but yesterday I was wearing the lovely yellow dress that my roommate Kaitlin is wearing in this photo:

And I think the dress was meant for petite people because even though I’m only 5′7″, my butt was showing from the slit. I was wearing green tights.

And so comes the next venture: I don’t even remember why this seemed so logical and wonderful, but Scott and I wound up on Myrtle. Good news for Pratts, though. The guy from Yemen is back at the Candy Store! At this point I was so drunk that I just remember saying to the guy “Hey! You’re back! Where ya been?! That’s so cool!” And apparently Scott had another beer. Maybe me too? But we went up the hill in Fort Greene Park and talked for awhile. Then I hopped fences and picked these flowers:

Scott said I got angry when he stopped watching me pick the flowers. So at one point I threw my decrepit bouquet onto the street.

Finally, we ended up in White Castle where Scott said some lesbians hit on me. I don’t really remember but I’m sure I provoked it. I got pissed that he was getting White Castle because I don’t eat it, so I made an egg at home.

And drunk stories are always boring, but I hadn’t outlined one in quite some time.