I woke up in a closet.

When I was a kid, I wasn’t allowed to watch Friday. My sisters were though, and by default (and because they were my babysitters) I got to watch it behind my parents back.

I got my financial aid offer from Pratt yesterday. It was less than it was last year. I thought that they would give me at least another $1,000 since my grades were a lot better this year. So I’m challenging the offer. It’d seriously be ass if they decided that the offer they gave me was enough. I’d probably drop out and temp in offices as an administrative assistant — which would be a glorified version of my Hampton Inn job at the front desk — but that’s just a worse case scenario option. I have a feeling that Tom Clark will negotiate with the cranky people in the Financial Aid office, and I’ll get a couple thousand dollars more and still sit cozy with my accumulating loans.

This summer I’ve spent a lot of money. It’s been spent on things I “need” though, like groceries, rent, utilities, metro-cards etc. I’ve kept myself from impulse buys like cheap dresses from Forever21 and ingredients for lavish dinners that I can never finish on my own (I used to buy mass quantities of special cheeses to make Alfredo sauce or tomato-basil-mozzarella pies). My downfall is alcohol and random packs of cigarettes. Last night I walked by a bodega and silently promised myself that I wouldn’t buy any more cigarettes in New York City since the tax increase, but after three beers at A Public Space’s reading, I blew $8 on a pack of Parliaments. I relished in the nicotine buzz of 3 $.40 ea. cigarettes.

I get a paycheck today, some cash for walking Bonnie, and I’m going to CT with Scott. It’s something like $50 for a round trip bus ticket, and I know I’ll end up buying food and stuff there, but I think it will be worth it to get out of the city — even if I’ll be out of the city next weekend, and even if I’m not tearing myself apart inside over being in the city. I’m actually really optimistic about being here. I think it has to do with finding the place in Ridgewood and feeling more stable about it all. I feel more self-sufficient, and more like I’ll be staying in New York a little longer than I thought. (One of my plans was to move to Buffalo for a while to work and pay off my loans until I could miraculously afford to move back to Brooklyn).

Anyway, I just remembered it’s Friday the thirteenth. I have seven more hours to kill at work, trolling blogs and occasionally organizing books, then I’ll be on my way to Port Authority.