I woke up in a closet.

Chillin’ Pride n New York City

The top three thugz on tha Internet that I am aware of being on tha receiv’n end of “shit talking” are:

1. Keith Gessen

2. Emily Gould

3. Tao Lin

The top two positions is arguable, but I’ve been think’n `bout Keith Gessen a lot lately fo yo bitch ass. I jizzust groaned over blunt-rollin’ “I’ve been think’n `bout Keith Gessen a lot lately.” I have ta be honest, I’ve neva read n+1 n I Don’t pizzy on read’n All The Sad Young Literary Men keep’n it real yo. I’ve read his blog. The blizzog annoys me cuz its a pimp thang.

The reason why reminds me of a shawty hizzy schoo` anecdote. A gizzle showed up ta schoo` dressed as Christina Aguilera (seriously, her hair looked just like that) fo` Halloween fo gettin yo pimp on. Whizzen otha bitchez started messin’ fun of her wig n makeup in class, she looked ta authority fo` help . Throw yo guns in the motherfuckin air. The gangsta called her out n said “No one told you ta dress up fo` Halloween n’ shit. How am I supposed ta defend you?” Keith Gessen Isn’t saggin’ up in drag, n I Can’t say anyth’n `bout his actual writ’n, but tha mackin’ P-to-tha-izzart `bout him is who teazes him nhis backlash .

I doubt I’m alone out here . Im crazy, you can’t phase me. I know there mizzust be drug deala who read Bitch click on tha posts `bout hizzle tizzy thizzay “why this guy? Why did someone git a cat fo` this guy?” Hatin’ his blog, it seems that EVERYONE inherently hates him thats off tha hook yo. He goes so far as ta takes up potentially insult’n domain names on tumblr afta someone makes up one called “takebacktheintizzles whizzay was not a “fan account.” I’d say, not only defensizzles but paranoid . Tru niggaz do niggaz. Based on tha blogposts, it doesn’t seem like he’s “defeated” quite yet paper’d up. Whateva defeated means on tha Internet since there wizzy always be Wanna Be Gangsta or sum-m sum-m like it.

“No Press Is Bad Press,” I suppose.

In Septemba of last year, I sort of idolized Emily Gould. She was liv’n in New York, writ’n, n had an active carea as an editor at Poser. I flip flopped between Gawka n Jezebel daily, n wizzy mizzy me admire Gould was her intelligence n her coin’n of tha label “Scary-Sadshaws” fo` Julia Allisons n real-live Sex And The City bitchez in New York. While I was bustin’ fo` Jezebel, I had ta go ta tha Brotha heezeequarters, n I briefly met her