I woke up in a closet.

It’s true! In the future the garbage compactor in your kitchen will have a soul.

For the first half-hour of Wall-e, I was about to cry because he was so cute. It was as impossible to stop saying “aww” as it is when watching this video of otters holding hands.

Aside from Wall-e’s quirky rendition of the choreography from Hello Dolly and his knick-knack collection, Pixar unfolded a blanket filled with blatant symbolism and forecast: Earth will be a wasteland, we’ll go to space where we’ll all get fat and survive rather than live. I sort of wonder what Stanley Kubrik would have thought of the similarities between Wall-e and 2001: A Space Odyssey. Autopilots were in control the whole time and humans had become inconsequential to their agenda.

It was a bummer when we first got to the movie theatre. We usually go to Union Square, but they weren’t showing Wall-e. We ordered the tickets online as Seniors so the price was $16 for two rather than $24, but the ticket taker stopped us and said “You’re not old enough for this ticket. You can go back outside.” And you, Mr. ticket taker, can step off your ticket-taking high horse and give some kids a break since I’m sure the $8 less we paid won’t be any skin off your nose. Anyway, we paid more money than usual for 97 minutes of animated love.