I woke up in a closet.

Robot Date Rape
June 30, 2008, 3:12 pm
Filed under: movies | Tags: , , , , ,

It’s true! In the future the garbage compactor in your kitchen will have a soul.

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Keep Chihuahuas OUT of movie theatres and In purses.
June 30, 2008, 3:00 pm
Filed under: movies, Tragedy | Tags: , , , , ,

Disney emptied out a puppy mill.

Seriously, how did they get so many people to be in this movie? Drew Barrymore, Jamie Lee Curtis, Salma Hayek, etc etc. Maybe they all knew the preview would be on the same screen as Wall-e but underestimated the shudder-inducing power of the preview.

Jam Glands
June 29, 2008, 1:14 am
Filed under: Prattstitutes, Promotion | Tags: , ,

Congratulations to Gray for his clip in Spin about the Toadies!
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Ariel Sharon paging Ulia
June 27, 2008, 3:39 pm
Filed under: Batavia, Food and Drink, Holidaze, Promotion | Tags: , , ,

Julie Molloy, ladies and Gentlemen

will be brought to you, the fair five boroughs of New York City, by the end of July.

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Waterfalls in New York City? No shit.
June 26, 2008, 7:35 pm
Filed under: Arts and Farts and Crafts, Promotion | Tags: , ,

If Olafur Eliasson’s name doesn’t sound made up, then these are natural waterfalls

which I’m going to see tonight. It’ll be like the American side-view of Niagara falls, but maybe with some classier lights shining on them.

Gizzoglin’ and literary schmoozlin’

I rediscovered “Gizoogle” and tried to c/p the post I wrote about Keith Gessen. Not all of it showed up, but It’s still pretty great.

I think I need a haircut that will make me look more sad.

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June 26, 2008, 3:30 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Chillin’ Pride n New York City

Jizzy 17, 2008, 1:59 am
Filed playa: Uncategorized

The top three thugz on tha Internet that I am aware of being on tha receiv’n end of “shit talking” are:

1. Keith Gessen

2. Emily Gould

3. Tao Lin

The top two positions is arguable, but I’ve been think’n `bout Keith Gessen a lot lately fo yo bitch ass. I jizzust groaned over blunt-rollin’ “I’ve been think’n `bout Keith Gessen a lot lately.” I have ta be honest, I’ve neva read n+1 n I Don’t pizzy on read’n All The Sad Young Literary Men keep’n it real yo. I’ve read his blog. The blizzog annoys me cuz its a pimp thang.

The reason why reminds me of a shawty hizzy schoo` anecdote. A gizzle showed up ta schoo` dressed as Christina Aguilera (seriously, her hair looked just like that) fo` Halloween fo gettin yo pimp on. Whizzen otha bitchez started messin’ fun of her wig n makeup in class, she looked ta authority fo` help . Throw yo guns in the motherfuckin air. The gangsta called her out n said “No one told you ta dress up fo` Halloween n’ shit. How am I supposed ta defend you?” Keith Gessen Isn’t saggin’ up in drag, n I Can’t say anyth’n `bout his actual writ’n, but tha mackin’ P-to-tha-izzart `bout him is who teazes him nhis backlash .

I doubt I’m alone out here . Im crazy, you can’t phase me. I know there mizzust be drug deala who read Bitch click on tha posts `bout hizzle tizzy thizzay “why this guy? Why did someone git a cat fo` this guy?” Hatin’ his blog, it seems that EVERYONE inherently hates him thats off tha hook yo. He goes so far as ta takes up potentially insult’n domain names on tumblr afta someone makes up one called “takebacktheintizzles whizzay was not a “fan account.” I’d say, not only defensizzles but paranoid . Tru niggaz do niggaz. Based on tha blogposts, it doesn’t seem like he’s “defeated” quite yet paper’d up. Whateva defeated means on tha Internet since there wizzy always be Wanna Be Gangsta or sum-m sum-m like it.

“No Press Is Bad Press,” I suppose.

In Septemba of last year, I sort of idolized Emily Gould. She was liv’n in New York, writ’n, n had an active carea as an editor at Poser. I flip flopped between Gawka n Jezebel daily, n wizzy mizzy me admire Gould was her intelligence n her coin’n of tha label “Scary-Sadshaws” fo` Julia Allisons n real-live Sex And The City bitchez in New York. While I was bustin’ fo` Jezebel, I had ta go ta tha Brotha heezeequarters, n I briefly met her