I woke up in a closet.

At what point do you invest in one of
February 19, 2012, 11:21 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , ,

these if you haven’t been getting any action regularly?

Turns out there was a sale on Fab.com and this one was $82. I just realized that it’s going to be shipped to my work address and that it probably won’t arrive until the middle of next month. That means I’ll forget that I ordered anything by the time it arrives and I’ll run the risk of opening up the unmarked box in front of my coworkers. Shit. I hope it comes in an unmarked box. If it isn’t, that will be my lesson for an impulse buy. At least once I bring it home I don’t run the risk of shocking any roommates at the sight of it if I leave it out by mistake.

I love that the people at Babeland add these informational videos about products giving you advice on techniques for use. This girl is explaining how to use a G-spot stimulator like it’s an electronic toothbrush:

I’ve had it in mind for the last three weeks that I should probably get something to make being alone better since I think the prospect of getting high quality fun time from a penis attached to a man is pretty low on the list of likelihood for me. For the next month I have to devote all my time to creating prototypes for the new menu collateral at my restaurant, and that means less going out and making bad decisions and more time shut in my apartment with an x-acto knife. I also got a gym membership which I plan on using after work not only to keep me on good behavior but also to tighten things up so that the next time someone sees me naked I won’t have weird pouches on my thighs that are full of hot dog omelets and cheeseburgers.





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